Truly living

Camping Balmweid, Meiringen, Switzerland June 26th 2010
A shared camping breakfast, one knife and a big jar of Nutella, smothered messily on dry crackers. A promisingly heavy grapefruit of perfect peachy complexion, slowly and deliberately peeled, then de-pithed, then each segment meticulously unwrapped at a huge stone table that harks of Aslan. All eaten in blinking bright sun surrounded by morning chatter of unfamiliar birds and the unseen splash clap and rush of glacial meltwater. Pop and squirt of sun cream. Turning a page of a long anticipated magazine. Nothing to rush for.


So I wrote this on a lovely day last month, planning to submit that and nothing more but now I want to add some of the wrestlings that I had with the theme of 'truly living'. Mostly I felt guilty and a bit defensive, because how can anyone truly live all the time? I know I don't. For the most part, people give a shit about what you do, and not what you don't do and so I should judge myself on the same basis. Some scritichings on the meaning 'truly living' (some drunken) from my notebook:

• taking chances, going outside comfort zone
• loving fully and freely
• doing it anyway
• is it that feeling of pining for the fjords?
• how much can I miss before I don't exist? (this is about me being here when you are there)
• make decisions in life instead of pottering through it
• yawping (see Dead Poet's Society)
• being active and engaged
• evidence of living isn't living
• more expression? more interaction? more listening? more hearing? more purpose? ......NOT more purpose! .......less purpose? ......more meaning?
• an essence, joi de vivre at every undertaking?
• using five senses at once
• 'if you want to sing out, sing out! If you want to be free, be free...'
• eating alfresco
• seething surging van gogh
• let it rumble let it roll. Let it flow, let it come out let it go. Let's go let's don't go let go let go.
• dancing with complete inhibition

After some contemplation I reached the happy conclusion that my aspirations for truly living are; loving freely, using what I've been given, enjoying simple pleasures, engaging with the world, breaking habits/taking chances and indulging curiosities.

TTFN
xx