Hmm... A diary entry. What a potentially confronting topic!
I have made so very many diary entries over the years and I think that a common theme would have to be the healing power of a journal entry in times of strife. Perhaps its just me but when I am having a great time, I am not generally thinking about writing in a book - I am out enjoying myself! Although the exception to this rule (in true rambling, journal-style tangent) is when in the throes of adventure!
So, perhaps the common theme is the desire to speak coupled with the need to dissect perhaps. I certainly don't much write in a diary in company-its definitely a solitary affair-and for me the liberation comes in being able to write whatever I am feeling without recourse to logic or general accountability-like a good shrink!
Again - that theory holds more true for moments (or weeks or months! Boo hiss) of heartbreak and soul searching.
That other time of diary keeping-when out in the world adventuring and experiencing - when life is far too exciting not to record it, what a journal joy!
Both have their place and their sentimentality. I have diaries from when I was 10 recording how I would remain best friends forever and had already found true love..
Then there are the diaries of following years right up to this day that I still have-the pages filled with my hopes,dreams,fears and triumphs that somehow I can never bring myself to throw away.. Although perhaps the odd unbearably cringe worthy page gets torn out or poem transcribed mostly this random collection of diary entries that become books filled with doodles and colored pages, old romance and old plane tickets simply sit in random cardboard boxes collecting dust.
Every few years I come across one and read back down through time to a younger me and a different life. Yet that is what stops me throwing them away possibly -how it is a record of a different me and a different time and yet inevitably so much that is important remains the same. Also I get a thrill to rediscover the details of some old adventure or love letter. To throw it away, to discount its value is not something I have yet been able to do.
I record moments and days and encounters in pages and papers and computers, there are times -like right now in fact- when the most beautiful way to interpret existence is to try and describe it-and there are so many ways to do it. Art,music,conversation,a long walk in the forest, a swim in the ocean or a simple diary entry (my favorite is in an exotic café over breakfast and coffee with stories of yesterday and dreams of tomorrow and content for today).
I think since time immemorial we as individuals search for meaning to this time alive and want sometimes to leave a mark. Even if that is a modest "this is me, this is what I did and this how I feel, I am alive. I exist". A hand print in a cave.
I think its intriguing to imagine some great grand relation discovering ones diaries and finding a small self created window to your long lost soul – that thought makes me aspire to entries that are fun filled and inspiring. Full of adventure and achievements,sex, drugs and rock 'n roll,love and kindness, humility and grandeur. Contradiction and commitment, the odd cartwheel and back flip and above all stories of freedom.. So many opportunities and possibilities!
Testament to a life well lived. What more could you ask of a diary entry than that?
That's awesome that you still have those. My mum has been keeping a daily diary since, I think, she was 13. She has boxes and boxes of them, but they're all in Japanese. A friend of hers tried to persuade her to get them published into a biography, since she has lived such an atypical (and perhaps inspirational to some) Japanese life. I remember thinking about starting one at 13 but felt like it was already too late. Of course the problem with that sort of diary is it can end up being a lot of waffle, but maybe even that is interesting years on. Our memories are so weak. I don't feel like I can remember a single complete day from that era, it would be nice to have some kickstarts. The strange thing is, if someone/thing reminds you, you often remember.. so the memories are still there... somewhere.. Maybe in 20 years we can look back at this and remember, those that haven't mastered the paper ;)
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ReplyDelete(sorry had to fix it!!). I love finding old trinkets, bits and pieces, letters or diary entries from years ago that relate to people I am still friends with now, like YOU Em, its like an old milestone that you can use as a point of reference to see just how far we travelled...
ReplyDeleteThis makes me want to start a diary again. To record for later recollection... the life I designed, that gave me joy and tears and fulfillment.
ReplyDeleteI still have all my diaries. I started when I was 14. But it's been a very on-off affair. I think they, along with all the letters I've recieved, are my most valuable possessions. I guess I imagine that they may be of interest to someone else, other than me, one day. My children at the very least? They are certainly interesting to me, but I rarely find the time to look back on them. I do sometimes think, "what if one of those correspondents becomes famous? Then there may be a lot of interest one day in their letters, like the letters of van Gogh".
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