Thursday, June 3, 2010
Dear dear diary
Dear Diary, I’m sorry it’s been so long since I wrote you, but I’m happy at the moment. I only seem to be able to write when I’m sad or angry or if, say, its school holidays and none of my friends are around. Not that I’m at school anymore. Although I do remember thinking, OK waffle time...um, how does the colour purple make me feel? So I think about when it was that I last wrote or what I wrote about, and I can’t remember, without looking into the depths of storage and dragging them out. Although there was that one recent-ish time, when I was unhappy, and I wrote out my life, how I wanted it to be, as if it had happened, writing in the full moonlight, and keeping it under my mattress for a year or two. When I found it again, nothing actually had happened the way I wanted it to. Damn positive affirmations. But I think I’ll do that again soon. You never know. Like a diary, I find it’s nice to be reminded of how we felt at one point in time, how we felt exactly. Because I’m acutely aware of how you think you felt, what you think happened, but how much you blocked out, forgot or just mixed up with other memories or looking at old photographs, and what ACTUALLY happened. That’s why I haven’t thrown out my embarrassingly conflicted, soul searching memoir-diary’s yet. I want to know how I felt at 11 when I first started writing. Why did I hate Mum so much? When was my first truth-dare-double-dare kiss, or pretend pash on the tree branch? I’ve also got that ‘ love letter from first boyfriends box’, I wonder why I can’t bear to throw out? I just love collecting, like one day someone might open a museum about my life...um...(coughs)... OK, I am embarrassingly sentimental, and that’s why I get upset when I realise I haven’t received a love letter (or an email) since I first started dating my current love. I even started writing “Letters to an unborn Child”, but only wrote like one entry. These days we have blogs or personal emails that stay in our sent boxes for years, so maybe I can piece together the later years in my life that way, if I feel the need. Now I’m trying to remember how I signed off in my teenage diaries...Good night dear diary, see you tomorrow! xx
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Sometimes it is amazing to read through emails from a few years ago... a good reason to keep updating people with news and pics about your current life!
ReplyDeleteI too have old diaries stashed that I can't bear to read or throw away...
And a new one filled with letters to Shiloh about how cool she is :). xxx
Oh those old diaries! Mine make me laugh because I always wrote in some kind of code... always scared of someone reading them and finding out what I thought... or worse who I had a crush on! I wish I'd been more real, less self conscious. Maybe it's time to start writing again.
ReplyDeleteIn a way, real letters that come in the post have been upgraded. They are expensive, time and resource consuming. They have stopped being common. I think they have been upgraded from a letter to a valuable gift. An artform and/or medium. Or, then again, maybe not. It's certain that we have witnessed how "email (all but) killed the hand-written letter".
ReplyDeleteYeah they've definitely been upgraded, but they were always pretty special. It's not like email came in and replaced letters in the coolness stakes, they were always sub-letter, but I think the rarity of the letter has increased it's value a lot. Not dead though.. just sleeping
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